BDC is an 18-year-old male born and raised in Utah. He has been around mental illness his entire life. Members of his family and even childhood friends have battled mental illness; from bipolar disorder to depression and anxiety. He lost a friend to suicide in high school which left him empty for some time. He has thought a lot about the topic and has considered both sides. He knows in his heart he could never do it because of the heavy weight it would have on family and friends. In his eyes it is completely not acceptable. He has seen the mood swings in those with bipolar and the crushing effects of anxiety and depression. BDC says that “there is always a way out, there is always a solution.”
He was diagnosed with ADHD just a couple of years ago. He was struggling in school and having issues dealing with the symptoms of the illness. He always suspected that he had it, upon receiving the news he was saddened and felt the weight of it on his shoulders. He learned that he landed somewhere on the autism spectrum. He mostly pushes it out of his mind and tries not to think about it. Since then, he has come to accept what he has been dealt. He insists that it is part of his mind, but he controls his personality. In his brain, it is just something he has and that helps give him some solace. He mostly struggles when his mind is going a million miles a minute and he can’t focus on one problem at a time and he expels all of his energy but sometimes he just can’t get rid of it.
BDC never has two days in a row that are the same. He finds it difficult to find a routine. He doesn’t know what the day will be like. Often times, it is more beneficial to mix it up and keep the illness “guessing”. In doing so, it is not detrimental to him. “No matter how badly if affects me, there are things larger to worry about”. Engaging in work and focusing on making money in order to pay the bills helps to distract the episodes or the moments when the symptoms are at their worst. He is frequently exhausted. Even with 9-12 hours of sleep, it affects his emotions and causes him to spiral downward, almost causing an emotional breakdown. Powering through is his best defense, the best way to cope and move on.
Therapy proved to be helpful to a degree. BDC feels that he doesn’t want to ask for help. He doesn’t want to burden others with his complaints. He tried medications for a time but thinks that they “dumb you down” and turns into a zombie and caused him the sensation that he couldn’t blink. Disruption to his system. Amidst these results he admits on occasion that it revealed some mental peace.
His brain never seems to stop going, “it’s always this and that and the episode just doesn’t stop”. Drinking caffeine sometimes calms him and gives him a break of sorts where he can reset and regroup. Overall, he doesn’t have control over it.
BDC has a good support system and can talk to his mother and his older brother. They understand him and help him immensely in coping with episodes. As mentioned earlier, he doesn’t like to burden others with his problems. He doesn’t want to burden others so, getting him to talk is a labored effort on their part. His mother has been sick with various illnesses his entire life. He is a little insecure and always thinking about the state his mother is in. He worries a lot about her and these things cause him discord and anxiety.
BDC wants people to treat him as they would anyone else. He doesn’t feel that he is at a disadvantage because of the ADHD. He just wants things to be normal. He is very strong and has experienced many life events that people twice his age have not.
His message;
“Be ok with who you are and what’s happening in your life. Know eventually, not any time soon, it will be ok, eventually you’ll achieve what you see as normalcy and the light at the end of the tunnel is real. Life is filled with problems, and always ask for help and others’ opinions on your problems”. In speaking with BDC, I can see the struggle within. He is trying so hard in life and is in a critical phase that he will undoubtedly come out on top. My heart goes out to those who cope daily with ADHD. I caught a glimpse of it in him and I see the efforts he puts in to live and be his better self.
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