Bipolar mania has many symptoms that can adversely affect you. They can range from mild to severe. Once you are in an episode it can be difficult to navigate. Here is a list of some of the symptoms;
Feeling self-important and coming up with unrealistic plans. Delusions and illogical thinking. Poor decision making in areas such as finances, relationships – including hypersexuality, and taking risks with your safety – such as racing your Suzuki GSXR Street bike against any takers on the freeway late at night! (Even though you made $100 from that guy in the Supra doesn’t make it right!) Sometimes you may feel happy, elated, full of energy, and being more active than usual. Some turn to drugs and alcohol and even misuse their prescription medication.
My experience with bipolar mania.
When I am experiencing a manic episode, I feel as if I don’t need to sleep or even eat much. I feel like I can accomplish anything, especially things that I know nothing about. Grand delusions! I often feel an increase in energy and feel a kind of “wired” feeling. If you have ever had too much caffeine or sugar and have that jittery feeling, it is kind of like that. Only when I feel wired, I am in a different state of mind. Sometimes I have tunnel vision and can only focus on a certain problem or task. Other times I can’t concentrate on one thing, my mind races and I am pulled in several different directions. A lot of times I felt out of control and lacked a sense of responsibleness. I found myself taking on projects that I dreamed up. For example, the Broncos chair.
Working with my hands and creating and exploring new ventures keeps my mind from wandering and going down dark roads. So, I bought a 1973 Volkswagen Bus and started restoring it. I had no idea what I was doing but it was fun! I was at the local junk yard looking for parts when I came across a Beetle that had rear end damage. The creative juices started flowing and I came up with the idea of turning it into a Denver Broncos chair. I cut the front clip off with a metal Sawzall blade and took it home. Over the next few weeks, I spent my time sanding and doing body work that I just taught myself – trial by error. I reworked the metal using only the tools I had. Sometimes inventing my own tools. I wired up the marker lights and added head lights using plexiglass and low voltage lamps. I taught myself to sew and made up a bean bag made of brown leather in the shape of a football that went in the front trunk. I painted the fenders orange and the main body blue. Bronco’s colors! I reworked the chrome bumper and added, you guessed it, a Denver Broncos license plate. A couple of Broncos pillows finished the look nicely. I didn’t sleep much those few weeks but had a great time creating and learning and focusing my mind on something positive rather than being lost in thought and self-destructing. It is difficult at times to see the end result. I have a good eye for detail but very rarely am completely satisfied with my work. But that is not the point. The point being that I was engaged in something other than following the path of many of the symptoms mentioned above. I am very hard on myself and am slow to see my successes. This can lead to bipolar depression. However, I am never so discouraged that I don’t pursue the next adventure I come up with! The key to dealing with mania, for me, is to keep busy and match the energy in my mind and thoughts with creativity and expression!
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