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Part 3: Misperceptions of What You Think Others See You As

A significant source of anxiety and distress often comes from worrying about how others perceive us. We may believe that others are constantly judging us or that they see us as inadequate, flawed, or unworthy. However, these fears are often based on misperceptions or distortions.

The Fear of Judgement: When you worry excessively about what others think, it can lead to social anxiety, self-doubt, and avoidance. However, the truth is that most people are more focused on themselves than they are on you. We all tend to assume that our flaws are more visible than they truly are.

How to Reframe:

1. Reality Check: Ask yourself, “What evidence do I have that people are judging me negatively?” In most cases, you’ll find there’s little to support this assumption.
2. Shift Focus: Instead of worrying about what others think, focus on how you feel. Are you comfortable and confident in who you are, regardless of external opinions?
3. Challenge Perfectionism: You don’t need to be perfect to be accepted. People value authenticity and vulnerability far more than we often realize.

Remember, your worth isn’t dependent on how others perceive you. You are worthy of respect and kindness, whether or not you meet someone else’s expectations. Negative self-talk is challenging to overcome. Finding inner flaws is damaging when you truly believe them. It takes practice to let that strength shine through. When I am feeling negative and am pinning myself down with the burden of low self-worth, I find it crucial to catch myself in the moment and make the adjustments as needed. There are many times when I need others, someone I trust, to help me remember or see those good qualities in me. A simple conversation can prove to be helpful when you indeed see how others really see you. This lends a glimmer of hope as I seek to repair the crushing feelings of a negative self-image.