I was born into a very athletic family. I come from a long line of wrestlers, football players, and track stars. It was no wonder that I would follow suit. I began wrestling as soon as I could walk. Being the best was expected! After all, I had big shoes to fill. In junior high school I was undefeated at 120 pounds. The final dual match of the year was with another undefeated guy from Syracuse Jr. High. We went at it hard and gave everything we had. Late in the third period my opponent shot in at an awkward angle and bent my left leg behind and underneath. I felt immediate pain. They cautioned me to forfeit the match, nervous that I had sustained a serious injury. Quitting isn’t in me so I continued on. We went into overtime and I lost by 1 point. I was devastated. I had never lost before so this was all new to me. I knew my knee was hurt, but the North End tournament was in just two weeks. I used a knee brace and got along with a wobble. I went through the first three rounds winning by pin in the first round. I met my nemesis again in the finals. It was fate. We went three rounds again. I lost by one point in overtime. Again!
My wrestling coach was also my English teacher. He pulled me aside after class just two weeks ahead of the District Tournament. He gave me a pep talk and a poem. State of Mind. I read and reread the poem until I had it memorized. I was filled with emotion and a determination to win. With an injured knee I approached the District Tournament knowing that I needed to win by pin quickly in the first three rounds, so as to save my knee for the final match. I did just that. Yet again in the final match I met the same guy from Syracuse. This time I came with a steeled mind and confidence that I would win. We went three grueling periods and this time I won – by 4 points! Three weeks later I had surgery where they removed my meniscus.
This poem has always been with me. I framed the poem and it has hung in my room since that time. Whenever I’m feeling out matched or up against the wall, I read the poem and recount the young athlete who overcame the odds and WON! My state of mind isn’t always as it should be or as I wish it would be but I have in me a drive and emotion that I will win the match of life! It is an inherent drive that has been instilled in me since birth I suppose. The dark times have been rough to be sure. Finding the light in things has always been a challenge. Depression is a dark cloud that follows you around even when things in life are going well. You don’t always get to choose when those times will come. They just come and you have to deal with it. Through all of the depression and manic episodes as well as the anxiety I have been so fortunate to keep going and pull through. Simple things like an inspiring poem help me along the way.
Sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can!
State of Mind
by Walter D. Wintle
If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think that you dare not, you don’t,
If you’d like to win,
but don’t think you can,
It’s almost certain you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost,
For out in the world you’ll find
Success begins with a fellow’s will—
It’s all in the state of mind.
Full many a race is lost
ere even a step is run,
And many a coward falls
ere even his work’s begun,
Think big, and your deeds will grow;
Think small, and you’ll fall behind;
Think that you can, and you will—
It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you are out-classed, you are;
You’ve got to think high to rise;
You’ve got to be sure of yourself
before You can win a prize,
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.
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